The more I know of Jesus, the more I just want to tell everyone who He is and what He has done in my life. I'm at such a loss for how to start, how to be authentic, how not to scare people away... but I just want to shout it! I just want days gathered in circles with Bibles and coffee cups with everyone I love, everyone I know, so there's plenty of time to unravel all the pieces of all of our stories and see how Jesus reveals Himself in them... I just want to share the light that Jesus keeps shining bigger and brighter and warmer into my darkness every day. 

Thinking about that this morning, I've combed back through this old blog. I can hardly believe how long the path from 2010 to 2015 truly is. In some ways, it feels that God has brought me miles and miles up a mountain in a miraculously short amount of time. In other ways, it seems that I have spent more years in the same place of searching than I would have thought. To look at posts that speak so clearly of what I feel I'm still learning and speak thoughts it seems were new to me just the other day and see them dated 2011 or 2012 is staggering. How can I have been processing this for so long and just now be emerging with a little more clarity? Regardless of whether this has been fast or slow– God's timing is something entirely different anyway– I am grateful. Unspeakably grateful. Oh, how He loves. Oh, how He loves. 

And through it all, whatever questions, doubts, trials may come, it all comes down to this, each statement a link to a previous post, the present moment linked to a moment of the journey frozen in words:

I question the meaning of life, as much a skeptic as anyone, but again and again I find I just can't believe that life is pointless.

I can't help but believe that God exists and is evident in our world.

It just seems to me that all of humanity, all of our literature and dreams, hint at our groping for Him.

And the truth is, I need God. I need Jesus. Not religion. Not to be right. I need nothing less than salvation.

There's a jagged tale I feel I just have to tell, of how I was broken and how He makes me whole.

Thank you, Lord Jesus.