Journaling/Blogging/Praying through a Playlist 1

Ginny Owens's album Something More starts with this minute-long prelude:

"Prelude" 

One day I decided I'd aspire to higher ambition
So I set out on a mission to change the world
Armed and dangerous with my well meant words and best intentions
I went sharing my convictions with every livin' soul
But it wasn't long 'til the lightning flashed
The storms of disenchantment crashed
And my ambitions were scattered by winds of doubt
And it wasn't long 'til I learned to see
Life wouldn't always be easy for me
So I wrote a little song to remind myself

As Christians, we feel so urgent about doing with what we've been given. The message is to GO, the message is to tell, the message is to set out to save the world. And, eyes narrowed in focus on the goal of our mission, we sometimes forget that the mission was never the goal in the first place, that the only place worth placing our eyes is Christ. We think that our eyes are on Him when we're busy spouting about Him to the world or busy doing deeds in His name, but are we missing Him for what we think we're saying or doing for Him? He said, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.'" (Matthew 7:21-23 NASV) We always assume those passages aren't about us because we're true Christians and not who He's talking about, or we read a book like Radical and use this passage to spur us to further good works because it appears in this passage that Jesus may be saying that those who do not produce good enough fruit will not be accepted because they loved Jesus only in words and faith and not in action... but here are the thoughts in my heart...

1. "he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter"  What is the will of the Father? There are a lot of Sunday School routine answers to that, but I want to know what Jesus said about it. I mark it here as a goal of this summer (or this week!) to read the Gospels with an eye open for places where Jesus says "The will of the Father is" so that I can know what that is. I have a feeling it's going to be mind-blowing and eye-opening and probably much more than a little perplexing, mysterious, and incredible.
2.  "A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits." These are the three verses preceding the fearful information Jesus shares that not all who call His name will be known and accepted by Him. So there's something important about bearing good fruit, which brings John 15:5, "I am the vine and you are the branches" to mind. Even though it is a verse people stitch on pillows and wear on T-shirts (I once owned and wore on!), the verse has always been confusing to me. As I am reading Christ's words now, though, some things seem to start to be making sense. (Read all of John 15 and see if it doesn't simultaneously confuse you and amaze you.) In relation to Matthew 7, doesn't it seem, that if Christ is the vine and we are the branches, and if it is the vine that produces fruit, that we should quit worrying about making fruit and instead put all our attention, focus, and priority on Christ, the vine, and just be a branch? I'm picturing myself right now as a literal branch, joining a family of branches, reading books, singing songs, and going to meetings, all with the intent of becoming a better fruit-bearer, and I am thinking, "Poor branch. Don't you know that you will never make fruit on your own, no matter how much you may want it, study it, pray about it, look for opportunities to do it, and admonish your brother and sister branches to do it? You don't make fruit, branch!" Reading about and praying about and committing about living a life of more doing and more fruit producing won't produce more fruit. Won't trying harder just lead me even more down the path of the people who will be surprised that Jesus doesn't know them? Won't I, in my striving to make sure He knows me by my fruit, miss Him entirely and come up fruitless?Wouldn't it be wonderful just to be a branch and sit back from my spectacular view to see what the vine makes of me, what fruit He bears in my life, and how He prunes me to make even more? 
3. To bring it back to "Prelude," for everyone who is wondering how this all even relates, the words of "Prelude" could hardly tell my story better. Here's a glimpse of the highlights of the narrative: the thrill of discovery of a higher calling, the perception of a grand mission, the best intentions of changing the world, and then the crash, the confusion, the chaos of realizing that it's not that simple-- that the way is not always clear even if that's what they (whoever they may be) tell you that it is clear if only you'd believe, that things don't turn out great just because you intend them to, that shouting from the rooftops rarely shows anyone a true vision of Christ and that doing for Christ often just leaves you thinking it's all about you and all up to you when nothing could be further from the truth. Ginny Owens's album Something More goes on to include all the little songs she wrote to remind herself, and I've already posted the lyrics to one of them, "I Am," on this blog. One of the greatest lines from the album (and there are many!), is in this song, a line in which Ginny imagines God's voice in the stories of Moses, David, and Mary saying, "It's not your problem... You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me. I Am your Creator. I Am working out My plan, and through you, I will show them, I AM."

I AM, He says.

And HE IS.

May I be the branch, abiding in the Vine as He abides in me.